you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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