I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
