i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
