If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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