wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize