my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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