SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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