She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
