No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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