enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So many bounce houses so little time
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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