ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize