They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
