i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
