ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
