they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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