No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
