i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
