2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
