...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
PANTIES FOUND
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