He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
