Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
