All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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