So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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