Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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