i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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