I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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