she was so not down for the gang bang
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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