yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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