So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
