you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
