All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
