every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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