New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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