Me too!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Text me some of your sweat
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
