So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
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They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
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I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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