I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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