Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
