Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
