u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
