Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
