420 ftw
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
