You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
