What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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