My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
