Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
