Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
