i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
