What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize