You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
