so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
