Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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