I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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