I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
