i may or may not be watching the land before time
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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