It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
3pm strippers are depressing
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
