i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
