is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
