I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
there is glitter all over my balls
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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