should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
