you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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