Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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