dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
