You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just found a bag of teeth...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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