Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
