I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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