Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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